So I was casually reading comments on my old stories. You know, a normal Friday night. Some of the comments were amazing to look at. Super flattering, nice little reactions to small twists I wrote. It was surreal - especially reading them years after I finished my story.
And then there were the criticisms.
In all honesty, I like reading those the most. I genuinely enjoy most criticism as long as it's helpful and genuine. Usually, you can tell when criticism is written with genuine interest in improving the story and the writer's style as a whole. I take all of those comments very seriously and incorporate the ones I feel I should work on.
The thing with posting your stuff online where literally anyone can comment if they so choose... you're going to encounter another type of criticism. Although, I wouldn't even call it that. Some people have come to call it "flaming" but that doesn't quite seem to cut it for me. I just call it being a jerk.
The way to tell the difference between constructive criticism and someone being a jerk is very simple. Criticism usually starts out with a positive thing such as "I like how you did this" or "Great job with this" and then is promptly followed by a "but" or list of things they didn't fancy. The things they list are done so eloquently, and mostly with examples from the writing itself where you did so. If it's character or plot they're having an issue with rather than prose, its more or less the same formula with a few generalizations about mannerisms they didn't like or a certain way your under-described something.
And then there are the jerks.
Jerks start either with an insult or something about how they found it difficult to get through your story. They go on and on about the horrible choices you've made or how juvenile your plot is. Yada, yada, yada. Once upon a time, these comments used to hurt me so badly that I would cry. But then, after years of practice and some really great advice, I stopped caring. I stopped letting them get to me. Because, really, it's not you they're after. Their comments are real and hurtful, yes, but are they helpful? Are they a true testament to your skills? No. Most of the time, they are hateful tirades that can easily be refuted by a simple fact.
They didn't have to keep reading.
Recently, I watched a great video by a YouTuber named Carrie Fletcher. The premise was that you shouldn't continue reading something you don't like. Even if you have a personal record of how many books you've finished cover to cover, it doesn't mean much if you didn't enjoy the experience. Reading is a magical thing. Some stories touch you in ways you'll never forget. Others, not so much. Why waste your time on a bad story if you could be out searching for the next book to make you feel all tingly inside? I know I struggle with this. I've put myself through a lot of misery reading certain books. But now I don't feel so bad about putting them away and starting something new.
I think these jerks should take a lesson from this. No one is forcing them to read your story. They're doing it out of their own free will. They are also taking the time to write down every negative thing they can say about it. I think they need to take a lesson from Carrie stop reading if they're not enjoying it. Not start a personal vendetta against the writer and all the work they've put into it.
Sure, there have been a few times where I want to yell at an author for the choices they've made. But would that help? No. I wouldn't enjoy their work anymore if I yelled at them about it. And that's the point, isn't it? To enjoy what you're reading.
So before you comment on someone's work, whether it be online or at a workshop-type thing, please, PLEASE think before you speak. Some writers take it very personally. Hurtful words, whether said with good intentions or not, still hurt. Is it worth it to hurt someone just to vent and make yourself feel better? Or should you step away and read something else?
