If there is one question I detest more than "Halloween's over! Are you excited for Christmas?" it's "Oh, you're a writer? That means you're doing NaNoWriMo, right?"

*takes deep, highly exaggerated breath*

I am a writer and I hate NaNoWriMo.

I know, I know. But before you come at me with mugs full of hot tea and freshly-sharpened pencils, hear me out.

It is my opinion that writing a novel in a month is impossible. More than impossible - it's unattainable. There is no way in heaven, hell, or Narnia that I would be able to write an entire novel in a month and here's why:

1) My writing process is about as predictable as a week-long weather forecast in the Midwest. Sometimes, I am a sloth. There are days where write at a slow, laborious, time-consuming pace. Where I go over paragraphs three times over before moving onto the next. Then, there are days where the words just come to me. Where plots just fall into place. I live for those days, but they are few and far between. In order to write an entire novel in a month, I would have to pray to every deity known to mankind (and maybe even further into the animal kingdom) in order to write at the pace that NaNoWriMo demands. I may be a masochist, but I'm not insane. At least not in that respect.

Figure 1: Cartman is me. I am Cartman.

2) I don't like being told what to do. Ever (see Figure 1). Don't worry, I'm way over my teenage rebellion phase. But I like to think some of my faux-emo anti-establishment attitude seeped over into my 20s. Especially when it comes to writing. NaNoWriMo provides a deadline that a lot of writers need to push themselves into finishing their manuscripts. That's all fine and dandy, but unless I'll be punished by the NaNoWriMo gods for not finishing or missing a deadline, it won't really affect me. I wish it could, because there are certainly times where I wish I had someone yelling at me to finish or to write more, but unfortunately a website doesn't really cut it for me.

Also, as a supplement to these *~totally reasonable~* reasons. I do not yet have a publisher or agent or 100% finished draft of my first book so I can afford to be extremely slow, picky, and stubborn. 

Now, drifting away from the negativity, I would like to say this: I think it is downright wonderful that there is an entire month dedicated to the creation of novels. It is a tedious, life-altering process that deserves recognition and provides fair warning to the general public that their previously clean streets will soon be bathed in the blood and tears of thousands of writers as they struggle to build their stories from the ground up. I think it is fantastic that NaNoWriMo gives writers a deadline to crank out that novel they've been thinking about writing, giving them an excuse to get off their sorry asses and write the damn thing.

NaNoWriMo is a great thing and I am not discrediting that. I am simply saying that NaNoWriMo is not for everyone. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Successful writers such as Patrick Rothfuss and Victoria Aveyard have said that NaNoWriMo just isn't their thing but they respect the hell out of it. I like to count myself among the same opinion. Maybe somewhere down the road, I'll give NaNoWriMo a go. Perhaps when I'm not writing a fantasy book and have a bit more of an attainable idea to use as my sacrifice to the NaNo gods.

Figure 2: Obi-Wan is always judging me.

That being said, I still feel as if I'm being put on trial every time someone - especially fellow writers - ask me if I have/am going to participate in NaNoWriMo (See Figure 2). Every time they ask, I am tried and found guilty of being a bad writer - as if me avoiding the festivities discredits my ability to write. To them I say: Who are you to judge? Every writer is different. Different things work for them. Just because you are participating in a nationally accredited writing marathon doesn't mean that those who choose not to join you in the run are less of an athlete. It just means they have other stuff going on or maybe just aren't that into mainstream writing activities. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with you obnoxiously live-tweeting your novel's progress.

NaNoWriMo is a great tool for writers of all levels to get together and slave away at their novels for a month. To challenge themselves, to find a community, to just finish their freaking book. Whatever the reason, the fact of the matter is that anything that gets writers to write is fantastic. But not all writers are motivated by the same things. Think of it this way: If two poets are trapped in the same park, looking around for inspiration, what are the odds that they are going to be drawn to the same leaf if there is a circus going on or a couple who won't take their eyes off of each other on the bench next to them? There are dozens of writing communities, blogs, and personal motivations to get writers to write. One is not better than the other nor is one less effective. What does it matter how a book is written so long is its story is heard?

I hate NaNoWriMo not because of what it stands for; I hate it because of the people who use it to give themselves credibility and use that credibility to tear others down. I hate NaNoWriMo because there are some who use it as a staple for writing and look down on those who can't finish writing their novel in a month. NaNoWriMo is meant to be a challenge - that's why its only one month out of the year. Most books aren't written in a month. Finals drafts definitely aren't written in a month. So please, next time you ask a writer if they're doing NaNoWriMo and they say no, don't assume its because they think they are better than it or aren't good enough. There are hundreds of reason why someone wouldn't want to or can't participate and they are equally as credible as the reason why someone should.

tl;dr: Don't be a dick.

❤ Dae