I leave for London in 11 days.

Woah.

As my departure quickly approaches, I find myself teetering back and forth between two extremes: extreme excitement and extreme anxiety. It's been my dream to live in London since before I can remember and now that it's actually happening I'm not quite sure how to wrap my head around it. I mean, I'm going to be in an entirely different country in a week and a half. That's heavy stuff. Plus, I'm going to be alone. Well, okay, not alone in the literal sense. I'll have roommates and program advisors. And I'll be working full-time so that'll be a nice distraction. But it's the small things that are starting to get to me.

You see, I grew up in the country. I live on a ten-acre plot of land on a dirt road behind a ginormous horse barn. You can't get more country than that. Unless of course I was living on said horse farm. But let's not get crazy. The gist of it is that the closest I've gotten to city life is living on a university campus that neighbors a corn field. It's safe to say that I'm a bit nervous about being plopped in the middle of one of the most famous cities in the word with just enough money to get by and spending most of said money to rely on public transportation. I'm no germaphobe but, again, the only real experience I've had with public transport was my college's jank bus system and a three-day trip to NYC four years ago. Supervised.

Jeepers.

I'm already predicting severe homesickness. I love my family and my bed and my crazy half-clean room. I also love my friends. I've been hanging out with them a lot lately since the beginning of summer had us all in a tissy schedule-wise and thanks to that I'm reminded of how much I'm going to miss them. International calling is no fun for either party and the time difference doesn't help even if I am on Skype whenever I'm at my flat. It's going to be hard to keep in touch and, honestly, I'm hoping that I'll be so busy enjoying the experience to forget about it. Because that's what usually happens, right? Right?

On the bright side, this will be one of the most amazing experiences of my life thus far, if not the most amazing. I'll be living in freaking London, gaining work experience abroad, and travelling around Europe (hopefully) all before my 21st birthday. I mean, that's a pretty big deal. At least that's what I've been told. Still, I've always struggled with homesickness and am afraid it will take precedence while I'm there. Plus, I'm kind of terrified of finding my way from the airport to my apartment. I've always been horrid with directions.

While it looks like the cons are outweighing the pros here, I really am struggling with being both excited and terrified. It changes hourly. Hopefully, as the date approaches, I'll gain some clarity and it'll kick my butt into gear.

You're going to London, kid. Stop being a wimp.